THE HITMAN'S BODYGUARD movie review by The Commander


Hitman's Bodyguard 


by The Commander

  (out of 4 stars)


Rude, crude, dumb, fun are the four words that I use to would describe the Hitman's Bodyguard. Hoping to become the next hit buddy-buddy movie, this stupid comedy falls into the realm of absurdity and ridiculous. It is not on the same level of such films as Lethal Weapon, 48 Hours or The Last Boy Scout but it does make an adequate attempt. The major problems come with the lead actors. Ryan Reynold seems to be playing a takeoff of his other movie characters (Deadpool, Safe House & RIPD) where Samuel L. Jackson just seems to scream and curse a lot. The best performance comes in the pint size powerful actress Salma Hayek who plays the hysterical Mexican wife of Jackson. She literally steals the movie away. Gary Oldman is once again a villain who's not really scary, just mean and evil. Not a great part for Oldman. 


While this movie was entertaining to watch, it was just silly regarding shootings, stabbings automobile crashes, bombings, explosions, machine gun fire, and everything else you can throw into it. I never knew that when you were catapulted through the front windshield of your car you could just easily get up, brush off the glass and walk away.  I thought you usually ended up dead but then again what do I know? Or jumping off a five-story balcony, smashing into a fire escape, falling into a garbage dumpster didn't leave you incapacitated. Or better yet being shot in the leg, later pulling out the bullet, wrapping it up and walking and running 5 minutes later was even possible. 


It's this type of laughable nonsense which kinds of distracted me from the movie.  It basically became a cartoon where no one really gets hurt.  It's the same theory that went into the TV series the A-Team where in every episode a thousand bullets flew back and forth but maybe one bad guy got winged in the arm.  Just silliness.  What sets this movie apart is the rude, crude, lewd, and lascivious nature with a 100% “potty-mouth” rating. 


I guess that's what these movies have degraded to, in order to keep the younger generation entertained and paying attention. 


Casablanca it's not, The Three Stooges… it's close. But if this is your kind of movie then by all means go see it. It is not necessary to see it on the large screen, any home theater or mobile device will be adequate. Just make sure you’re wearing earphones while watching it on a plane otherwise, due to the foul language, you may run into an issue with the local authorities.



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